ELEMENTARY

By Marilyn MacGregor, ASH, BSI

On one of those perfect days which come from three to five times in a London summer, two men on Piccadilly paused to gaze over the prospect of Green Park. One was tall, lean, clean-shaven with a sharp profile - the other shorter, stouter, with a military mustache. An auburn-haired woman, becomingly dressed, walked toward them, glanced, hesitated, then approached.

"Surely," she said, "it is Mr Holmes and Dr Watson?" They turned, recognized her, lifted their hats and smiled. "What a pleasure," she continued, "to see you after so long, to be able to thank you again."

"Miss Hunter," Holmes said, "no more thanks are needed," and Dr Watson added, "It is our pleasure to see you. How goes your school?"

"It prospers," she responded. "I have elementary pupils from some of our best families. And what of you? I've followed Dr Watson's accounts of your work, Mr. Holmes, and I wonder whether you've been involved in some crimes reported in the press. For example, did you investigate the murder of Sir Eustace Arbuthnot?"

"He did," broke in Watson, "and he identified the person who put poison in Sir Eustace's coffee."

"But Mr Holmes," queried Miss Hunter, "why was there no arrest?" "Elementary," said Holmes. "There were no grounds." Somewhat stunned, Miss Hunter rallied, still the plucky, brave woman Holmes had helped some years earlier. "And now," she managed to say without grinding her teeth, "you must have as clients the victims of the decorative-arts thievery gang." "Indeed yes," Watson again interjected. "But what puzzles me, Holmes, is why you're searching all the London tattoo parlors." "Elementary," responded Holmes. "They had designs on our clients." Miss Hunter drew from her reticule a small pistol, shot and killed Holmes - the best and wisest man and most dreadful punster she had ever known.

Ms. MacGregor has been a member of the Scowrers and Molly Maguires of San Francisco for thirty-four years, many years as "McMurdo" (Vice-President) and now "Bodymaster" (President).  She is a distinguished member of the following Holmes organizations:  Sherlock Holmes Society of London;  "Elizabeth Baskerville" of The Adventuresses of Sherlock Holmes;  "V.V. 341" of the Baker Street Irregulars;  "young Freddie ffinch-ffinch" as co-founder of The Clients of Adrian Mulliner (scion society for fans of both Holmes and P. G. Wodehouse); The Napa Valley Napoleons of S. H., St. Helena, California; The Northern Musgraves, West Yorkshire; and The Men with the Twisted Konjo, Tokyo.

She has had papers published in Baker Street Journal, Baker Street Miscellany, The Serpentine Muse, The Vermissa Valley Herald, The Ritual (of the Northern Musgraves), and The Shoso-in Bulletin (Tokyo).

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